Lately i've been at war with myself, and it's causing me to lose a lot of sleep. Has anyone ever made you feel like you're nothing but also been the reason you go on all at once? I'm questioning every move I make - hoping this person will notice. I'd bend over backwards to the point where I broke my back but to be honest I don't think any of that makes a difference anymore. I'm starting to give up - to close up. I'm sick of opening up to people only to be shut down or to find myself a nervous wreck. Perhaps it's just my expectations, but I don't care. I expected too much, I understand that - but just once I'd like to feel like I matter. I'm taking a little bit of a break from blogging, especially because I feel like every single word is just going to subtly be about them. Has anyone ever done this to you? i'm lost.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
you're the direction i follow.
tonight i saw you in the crowd
and i thought my heart would just fall out
but you wrapped your arms around me and kept it in place.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFvrdDGNhXM&feature=channel
and i thought my heart would just fall out
but you wrapped your arms around me and kept it in place.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFvrdDGNhXM&feature=channel
Monday, July 12, 2010
Hold your head high, heavy heart.
A word to my blog-words,
Image. Image is unfortunatley everything to most people - the way you appear on the outside dictates how people see you. We would all like to think we don't judge people based on their outward appearences but it is just the way our minds work. Without knowing someone for who they really are, their image is all you can base a first impression on. I was on facebook with hannah the other night and we came across a girl that can accuratley be described as a "slam pig", but that was my initial reaction because of the way this girl portrayed herself to the world. It actually irritates me when people create this "awesome" image of themselves and then don't bother to think about how other people might see them because of it. The world unfortunatley is not free of judgement and although it may seem like what other people think doesn't matter, it does to a certain extent. People too stubborn to see that piss me off - because ultimatley the way other people see you determines how you make it in the world, especially when it comes to jobs. What respectable boss is going to want to hire a girl who lists some of her intrests as - being sassy, blunts, $$$, 80's hair metal, not givin a shit, and drinkin' ? I wouldn't.
I'm all for being a free spirit -everybody has experienced different things in life, but sometimes people like this get on my nerves, especially when it comes to their strong reactions to people judging them. If you didn't want people to call you a whore, you wouldn't wear shorts that show your ass cheeks and push your boobs up to your chin, dumbass. People like this make it hard for me to turn off that part of my brain that judges and try and view them as decent people. I'm sure i've been judged before ("look at that girl.. going for seconds, OF COURSE") and I wouldn't want to be but at least I have redeeming qualities. This blog goes out to the slutty whore whose facebook inspired me to write it - please put some clothes on. Anyways, I'm writing this partially because she pissed me off, and partially because I've been thinking a lot about image lately and how I portray myself - I'm going to work on it.
Image. Image is unfortunatley everything to most people - the way you appear on the outside dictates how people see you. We would all like to think we don't judge people based on their outward appearences but it is just the way our minds work. Without knowing someone for who they really are, their image is all you can base a first impression on. I was on facebook with hannah the other night and we came across a girl that can accuratley be described as a "slam pig", but that was my initial reaction because of the way this girl portrayed herself to the world. It actually irritates me when people create this "awesome" image of themselves and then don't bother to think about how other people might see them because of it. The world unfortunatley is not free of judgement and although it may seem like what other people think doesn't matter, it does to a certain extent. People too stubborn to see that piss me off - because ultimatley the way other people see you determines how you make it in the world, especially when it comes to jobs. What respectable boss is going to want to hire a girl who lists some of her intrests as - being sassy, blunts, $$$, 80's hair metal, not givin a shit, and drinkin' ? I wouldn't.
I'm all for being a free spirit -everybody has experienced different things in life, but sometimes people like this get on my nerves, especially when it comes to their strong reactions to people judging them. If you didn't want people to call you a whore, you wouldn't wear shorts that show your ass cheeks and push your boobs up to your chin, dumbass. People like this make it hard for me to turn off that part of my brain that judges and try and view them as decent people. I'm sure i've been judged before ("look at that girl.. going for seconds, OF COURSE") and I wouldn't want to be but at least I have redeeming qualities. This blog goes out to the slutty whore whose facebook inspired me to write it - please put some clothes on. Anyways, I'm writing this partially because she pissed me off, and partially because I've been thinking a lot about image lately and how I portray myself - I'm going to work on it.
we've all got to start somewhere.
Bloggity-Blog-Blog,
This is the first of many blogs inspired by rachael beard, who made me want to blog again. :D<3 For those dedicated to all things sarah nesbitt (hahahha nobody), you might have noticed that I stole my blog-title from a previous blog in which I posted under my alias "mittens" with my good friend Jenny Usovicz, i'm stealing it because I loved the title and because Jenny's a bitch. Anyways - here i'm going to post the ridiculous things I do ( nothing really) and talk about just in general me being totally awesome (what?) I'll probably just end up posting things I find on stumbleupon and pretend that i was the cool person who found them. It's pretty much safe to assume that everything I post on here, stumbleupon found for me. I'm lazy. Also, there will definitely be like ten-paged rants on things that piss me off, feel free to chime in :D i like debates. In the meantime - check out these cool youtube hotties that i stalk on the daily.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAKewi0m54s&feature=channel and and and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9G_W1uS7sA&feature=related
^ danielle ; a quirky and talented ukulele player whom im insanely jealous of.
www.youtube.com/katem3
^kate; a beautiful, British singer who actually has some cds out :D
This is the first of many blogs inspired by rachael beard, who made me want to blog again. :D<3 For those dedicated to all things sarah nesbitt (hahahha nobody), you might have noticed that I stole my blog-title from a previous blog in which I posted under my alias "mittens" with my good friend Jenny Usovicz, i'm stealing it because I loved the title and because Jenny's a bitch. Anyways - here i'm going to post the ridiculous things I do ( nothing really) and talk about just in general me being totally awesome (what?) I'll probably just end up posting things I find on stumbleupon and pretend that i was the cool person who found them. It's pretty much safe to assume that everything I post on here, stumbleupon found for me. I'm lazy. Also, there will definitely be like ten-paged rants on things that piss me off, feel free to chime in :D i like debates. In the meantime - check out these cool youtube hotties that i stalk on the daily.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAKewi0m54s&feature=channel and and and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9G_W1uS7sA&feature=related
^ danielle ; a quirky and talented ukulele player whom im insanely jealous of.
www.youtube.com/katem3
^kate; a beautiful, British singer who actually has some cds out :D
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